Why are our relationships failing

Show me your resume

(I do not own the rights to this photo)

So lately I’ve been picking the wrong people to talk to like at the time they just seem so perfect. Y'all know the oh what’s your favorite color OMG green mine too kind of perfect. It’s like at the beginning everything is amazing. It just seems like God truly sent you “this time” like the last 2 was wrong lol but this one I’m sure of. Then weeks and even months later they start to show they true colors and here I am back at square one getting in tune with myself, finding me and not worried about someone. Until the wrong one comes again and I’m back in a pattern in a cycle, I know I’m not the only one that feels like this I just know there’s one person reading this like mannnnnnn this is so me. Well guess what I’ve came up with a new approach that I’m sure some “relationship guru” has already said but imma say it from a point of a view where you don’t need the thesaurus to figure out what the meaning of a word is or you have to google another search because this one didn’t make sense lmao yeah go ahead and laugh cause I know that’s me to the fullest but here we go, truly vibe with me and hear me out….

So let me tell y'all when I first start talking to a guy whether it’s face to face or they happen to slide in my DMs or I’m just browsing the first thing I’m completely going off of is looks because that’s the only thing I can go off of. I size them up and for those who aren’t up to date with the lingo I look them up and down to see if if the looks match the swag. Or I’m going through pictures to see if he at least carries himself well. Then next is the personality test can we at least vibe for a week a couple days whatever the particular length of time is before we decide to exchange numbers if that’s the next step. Now see this step here is what fools you simply because the next goal is to get the number so everyone involved is as charming and koo as can be( you have your exceptions, another post) but most people are real nice and sweet. So
Bam the number is given and we in there. This phase is the phase where the catfish test comes into play lol. Yeah i said it the catfish test its 2016 and Nev. (catfish host) got us checking everything to make sure we don’t become a victim of being cat fished. We waiting for that text to come in to see if the blue(iPhone) or green( android) bubble pops up, let that green bubble pop up and the first thing we asking, You got video messaging? Lol you heard of oovoo etc. We be on it I know I am 100% so that’s this phase we gotta first make sure they are who they say they are. Once we get over that the questions come in.

I know for me I’m asking every question I can think of and the first one is how many kids do you have? And what is the relationship like with the mother of your child or children? I need to know 1. what I’m getting myself involved in especially since I have no children 2. What kind of father you are to your child or children and 3 if it sounds like you and the mother of your children or child are over or you still trying to play house. I need to know I need to know just like joe baby lol( is that who sung that song lol) y'all feel my drift so once that is established normally I tend to ask a few more what you like dislike nothing too major because I don’t want to scare the young man off. Now here is the main part where the show me your resume(will explain) should come into play but most of the time not all we vibing with the conversation we aren’t really thinking long term when we should there’s nothing wrong with that( another post? We are caught in that particular moment that what we like and dislike have completely gone out the window and then months later we are stuck possibly mentally and physically involved with this person and it’s even harder to get out when all we had to do at the beginning is ask them for that resume.

This whole time and in the title I’ve been referring to a resume some of you may be lost like what is this girl talking about this isn’t a job while others have already caught my drift. You are the boss and anyone who wants to date you, get to know you, be in your presence should have to have certain 
requirements to do so like a job. In reality if you are applying to McDonald’s and you have only experience in retail and another candidate has worked at Wendy’s most likely the candidate that previously worked at Wendy’s will get the McDonald’s job because they are better qualified and they have experience, although Wendy’s and McDonald’s are two different companies they basically offer the same product so it will be easier for that candidate to get adjusted and fit in better than someone who only has experience in retail. Are you with me?

Okay so you are the boss and you have created certain requirements about someone that you like that go on your dating resume. Some should be requirements while others can go
In the preferred but not required section. Now deciding on which goes in which section to be honest I can’t be the judge of that, that is completely up to you but what I can do is give some advice on where each should go. Now when it comes to the physical appearance such as skin tone, facial features and all that in my opinion that’s more preferred unless your dealing with height. Height is something that for taller ladies especially is a requirement. If your 5'5 I’m sure your not interested in dating a man that’s 5'1 but maybe you are That is something that may go in your requirements section now for me my preferred section is short simply because 1. I go off of vibes. I can vibe with a short person, tall etc etc. Your requirements section should be where the deeper stuff goes such as education, kids, family goals, career/job, religion things of that nature. This section is the section that we should focus on the most but we get blinded by the preferred section and then that’s when our standards become lowered

Your resume should be a requirement within itself because you are a prized procession and you shouldn’t allow just anyone into your life and space because you yourself have things to offer. If someone does not meet your requirements which you are entitled to have then guess what? They need to apply somewhere else where the the job requirements are lower. Are y'all with me? McDonald’s may require a high school diploma where a registered nurse may require a bachelors degree. If someone is in high school they have a goal or dream of becoming a nurse it’s rare if at all you meet a high school student who is a registered nurse and why is this? Because they have not had the proper teachings, training etc to be in that position. They have to graduate high school first go to college and then nursing school. There are steps you have to take and things you need to accomplish in order to apply for certain jobs, hint yourself are y'all following?

If someone has no job, has no intentions on getting one, has 3 kids and never sees any of them, lives with a friend and has no form of transportation but yet they want to talk to you who has a job, has maybe 1 or no kids and you take care of them and you live by yourself or with a roommate but your paying your own bills how can that person even add to what your doing or trying to accomplish? They can’t. There are steps they need to take in order to date you.

You have to set the bar of the type of person you want to enter your life. Keep this in mind, when beginning to date someone think of these 3 questions:
1️⃣What can this person add to my table?
2️⃣ What are they doing for themselves to add to their own table?
3️⃣ What can we take from each others table to build our own?
Once these three questions are answered it will be a little easier in determining who is a better candidate for you to pursue anything with.

If their resume isn’t up to date then you have three options you can either:

1️⃣Tell them they do not meet the requirements and to re apply in 90 days when their resume is updated and they are more experienced.
2️⃣ Still set up that interview and just see if they made some mistakes on that resume like sent in the wrong one or just to hear them out or 
3️⃣ Tell them that sweet little message we all hate seeing “Thank you for applying I have gone through your resume thoroughly but unfortunately I have decided to pursue with other candidates that closely match what I am looking for, thank you for your interest in wanting to pursue me and I wish you the best of luck in your search”

Show me that resume!

Remember:
You are the boss of your life and anyone that enters needs to have their resume updated. As soon as they approach you after “hey how you doing” the next question should be “Can I see your resume”